Swingers .. It is a Separation of Love

06 Apr

There seems to be a lot of confusion about swingers.

Before I get started, I want to make it known that I am not claiming to be a swinger. On the other hand, I am not saying I am not a swinger.  If it matters to you that much, make a decision and there you have it.

I have heard that swingers are usually “Old people.”  That is not always true. There people of all ages and races.

Swingers are couples only, not singles.  The singles may get invited with the couple but that in its self does not make the single a swinger.

Swingers engage in all types of activity, including but not limited to:


  • Soft Swap
    • Oral Swap – Couples usually swapping with couples for oral only
    • Same Room No Swap – Some couples only want to engage in sex with their partner while another couple is in the same room.
    • Girl/Girl – Girls swapping while the husbands watch. Usually leads to the Same Room No Swap also
  • Full Swap
    • Straight Same Room – Couples swap partners
    • Bi Female – The couples swap partners with interaction between the girls.
    • Bi Couple – The couples swap partners with interactions between all parties.

Since all that is out-of-the-way, I can now focus on the topic at hand here.

This topic centers around jealously to a point,  due to the fact if one party has any jealously in them the whole thing falls apart.

In the life of a swinger, you must be able to separate sex from love.  Love is something that is shared between the partners themselves.  When a couple engages with another couple, there is no “Love” involved.  The sharing of partners is strictly for sexual pleasure.

I truly believe every person has thoughts of sex with other people, most do not act on these feelings but they are there.  Swingers have figured out the way to fulfill that urge to cheat without losing the required trust.

Most swingers I have spoken to tell me that they only swing with friends.  These friends also come over for dinner as a family, bringing their kids.  Not every time swinger couples gets together does it mean they sleep together.  Many swinging couples enjoy the bar with each other and never have sexual relations.

I have also been told most swing couples don’t like to plan the encounter.  If something happens then it just happens and if it does not happen that time, not a big deal.

Another myth about swingers would be they are easy to pick out.  Most swingers are quiet about it and do not advertise the fact they partake in the added pleasures.  Your not going to notice most of the time that you’re at a bar with a swing couple.  They have a keen way of knowing if another couple is interested just by the body language they use.  If there is a mutual attraction, you may be asked if you’re a swinger or they may drop you a note with a phone number.  This could mean they just want to keep in touch as a friend.  But after the friendship is built, they will know enough about you through casual conversation to know if you’re a swinger or swinger-curious couple.

You don’t want to just jump right in and start swinging, you must communicate your position openly on the subject with your partner first.  If your partner is at all jealous, please don’t take the risk of pressing the issue.  This could be devastating to your relationship. Your partner may feel you don’t enjoy sex with them anymore or your tired of the same routine.  If they don’t completely say NO to the idea, start slow with some soft same room sex.  This can be super erotic for all parties.  Then simply proceed from there.  But make rules first, some common rules are:

  • No kissing the opposite sex other than your partner.
  • Safe word – If the situation makes someone uncomfortable, this safe word is used.  All parties stop and/or slow down to make each other feel comfortable.
  • Pictures – Yes or no also figure out if you allow face shots in the pictures.
  • Condoms – MOST all swingers require the use of condoms.  And in most cases this will be stated upfront and they will refuse anything less.

If you have ever though about trying it, don’t wait.  From what I “hear” it can be an awesome experience if done so properly.   Do your research first, there are a lot of swinger sites out there some are free and some don’t charge much.  One site I did find that gave a lot of information and is free to try is Club 4 Play they don’t spam your inbox like a lot of other swing sites I checked out while writing this.

Something I would like to know, using the comments please list sites that you have used as a swinger.  All I ask is that you leave a meaningful comment with it so I can distinguish spam from real people.  Also please participate in  the poll!


Posted by on April 6, 2011 in Blog Entry


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3 responses to “Swingers .. It is a Separation of Love

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