As I was surfing the Internet with Maury show in the back ground. I kept hearing the same thing over and over again. “Have you had sex with anyone she does not know about? You stated NO, and that was a Lie.”
After hearing this, I got to thinking about why someone would cheat. In this blog I am going to be referring to “Him” as being the cheater, mainly due to the fact that the picture I choose to use demonstrates this. However, I believe that women are just as likely to be the cheater as the man.
Now I know that I haven’t spent any time in a college and I don’t have someone telling me I am good enough to give advise. So if you’re looking for a text-book answer, move on. This is what I believe and have seen over and over again.
People are very complex and some what strange when it comes to relationships and sexual encounters. The topic of relationships and sexual encounters are two totally different subjects.
In the picture above you see a man with a wedding band on having coffee with a female without a wedding band. This could mean a few things, including she is his sister and they are just enjoying a cup of coffee. NO, they are way to close for them to be siblings in most parts of the country.
I am guessing she is a co-worker and they stepped outside to have a cup of coffee away from everyone else, judging from the body language this is not a business encounter but a much closer encounter on a much closer personal level.
Now the questions begin, if he loves his wife, why is he getting so close to her?
For my best guess, you would have to assume she is the one asserting and pressing forward. I come to this conclusion based on the fact she is siting behind and to the right pressed against him and coming around to the front side. With that I am not saying he is not in the wrong for allowing it.
If this is in-fact just a casual conversation and strictly platonic — which it very well could be — then I would say something was bothering him at that minute and she was just lending an ear.
On the other hand there could be a range of other reasons he is allowing her to get so close.
Most married American couples spend less than 10-minutes a day having a conversation. — You talk to your co-workers the most in a day.1.
Men for the most part do not cheat because of a lack of sex from their partner. Most women think if their man is unhappy, give them more sex and they will be happy. In most cases however, the man is looking for someone who will “build him up” and appreciation for the things they are doing and accomplishing. A man wants a woman to notice him and compliment him, encouraging him to do things he enjoys while standing not behind him but by with him in his experiences.
At what point does this become cheating?
I truly believe a person can flirt with another person and have no mental attraction, physical attraction or the need to progress further. Flirting is a natural instinct in the human mind and gives that person the sense of feeling like they “still have what it takes.” Just because a person flirts does not mean they are unhappy with their relationship or that they want to move on.
The point it become cheating to me is when the person seeks out the opportunity to flirt, conceals the flirting or progresses and their mind-set changes from the basic flirt to the sexual feelings for the other person.
Some things I did find interesting are:
What percentage of men say their mistresses are better looking or have better bodies than their wives? 1
What percentage of cheating husbands say their wives’ looks are the number one cause of sexual dissatisfaction in the relationship? 1
What percentage of unfaithful husbands say they cheat because they’re predominantly unhappy with their sex lives? 1
less than 10%.
What’s the number one reason husbands say they feel emotional dissatisfaction in the marriage?1
they feel unappreciated or their wives are not thoughtful or caring.
AND FINALLY, LAST BUT NOT LEAST. THE INTERNET IS THE MOST COMMON PLACE TO FIND SOMEONE TO CHEAT WITH.
How many cheating husbands meet their mistresses on the Internet?1
less than 10%.
HMMMMMM…. Yep, that’s right and this also backs up my theory! Less than 10% of men find their mistress on the internet! WHY IS THAT? Maybe because the internet does not offer someone with that actual physical EAR, instant gratification and live verbal communication!
1 Oprah.com (as much as I dislike this bleeding heart liberal site)